Divorce takes a toll emotionally, physically, and mentally on everyone involved. It’s not uncommon for individuals going through a divorce to want to curl up in bed all day and abandon all responsibilities. As tempting as this sounds, it’s not practical. In fact, doing so can even make things worse.
The first step to landing on your feet after divorce is finding acceptance. Just because you’re making the right decision to split up with your partner, doesn’t mean it’s easy, but accepting your post-divorce life means finding new normals.
This will look different for everyone. However, there are several steps you can take to make your new normal as seamless as possible. For starters, get clear on the unknowns. You’ll need to answer questions such as where you will live, what your child custody arrangements will look like, and what your financial needs will be.
Answering questions to unknowns will help ease anxiety and allow you to gain a new perspective on your future. To answer these unknowns, you’ll need to create a financial plan with a post-divorce budget. If your ex was in charge of handling finances in the past, this might be daunting; however, managing a budget can be empowering. To start, be realistic about your living situation.
The basics of creating a budget involve gathering all of your financial information (if your in the process of divorce, review your financial statement). Make a list of all sources of income, including alimony and child support. Make a second list of all outgoing expenses starting with the necessities, such as housing and utility bills. If the outgoing money is more than the incoming, you’ll need to find places to make cuts. This may mean moving or looking for additional work.
Once you have a financial plan in place, you can begin to envision your new life. Take some time to determine the things you want. Allow yourself to dream big. Now is the time to consider ideas that may not have been possible before. Avoid falling into the trap of thinking about what others expect of you, and plan something to look forward to.
After divorce, you may need to expand your support system. People you depended on before may no longer be an option. Divorce isn’t just the separation of a husband and wife; it’s a detachment from your ex-spouses family as well. Some divorced couples maintain relationships with their ex’s family, but if this isn’t the case for your situation, you’ll need to find another form of support.
When looking for support, it’s crucial to surround yourself with positivity. Reach out to people who can understand how you’re feeling, want to help, and know how to nudge you in the right direction when you need it.
Once your basic needs are taken care of, you’ll want to consider what legal documents need to be updated. Name changes and beneficiary designations won’t happen automatically. Some documents to consider may include your will, access to medical and financial information, property titles, retirement funds, security codes, etc.
If you need legal representation in a divorce or custody case, I’m here for you. I’ll help you navigate the legal stuff so you can focus on more important things, like healing and moving forward with your life.
